Tips for Getting by this Holiday

The holiday season is generally thought of as the “most wonderful time of the year”, but for many of us, it can be a time of loneliness or stress. Some people live far from family and miss seeing their loved ones this time of year. It’s also common for us to feel emotional distance, thus feeling lonely even if we’re in a room full of people. Christmas often holds a lot of memories and expectations for us that cannot be met this year.

If you’re experiencing loneliness or stress during this holiday season, the following suggestions might help:

1. Realize that you’re not alone. Many others are feeling the same way you are. It’s common to be blue during this time of year and it can help to simply acknowledge to yourself that you feel down, and that’s ok.

2. Try to divert your attention from all the Christmas fuss by following your regular routines. Try to get regular rest, exercise, and don’t overeat or drink excessively.

3. When you feel worst about yourself, it often helps most to reach out appreciate or help others. Put the focus on those around you who are in a similar situation and offer them what you can: kind words, a listening ear, a small gift, or even just a hug.

4. Use the stresses of this time of year to motivate you to improve in the New Year. Evaluate 2009: where you have been, where you are at, and make a plan for how to get where you want to be in 2010.

Lastly, take it easy on yourself. If none of the previous tips help, you can always apply a simple but useful wisdom to this holiday season: this too shall pass.

What Is Working in Your Life? Go There!

by Thea Sheldon, The Prime of Life Coach is owner of Prime of Life Coaching, LLC and founder of the True Voice coaching approach, where midlife women gain unstoppable momentum on what really matters...for the rest of their lives. To receive Thea’s complimentary online newsletter, Flourish after 50, please visit www.TheaSheldon.com or contact her at thea@theasheldon.com

What Is Working in Your Life? Go There!

Too much time and energy is spent on the negative. This isn’t really news. We’re surrounded by stories of what doesn’t work every day. I talk with clients frequently who have internalized the mindset that things aren’t going right; that there’s something wrong or missing. They agonize over what’s not working.

It may be true there are things in your life that aren’t working out for you. Or there are aspects that you’d like to change, tweak, or improve. This is natural to human development. We make mistakes, go down unfulfilling paths, feel dissatisfaction or sometimes get ourselves in a real pickle. When these things happen, it can feel like nothing is working right.

Now look at it this way— what you focus on expands. This universal law comes in handy when you’re attempting to turn things around in your life. The tricky part of this law is that it really works.

When you shift your gaze toward what’s working, you get more of that. It’s subtle. And the miracle is that it’s entirely within your power to shift your gaze.

The next time the negative feeling of “things are just not working” overwhelms you, here are a few tips to help you respond differently than you may be accustomed to.

Stop and breathe in the reality of your situation. Allow yourself to completely receive what is happening into your being. If something isn’t working, take it in and consider it. Then ask, what else is true?

Assess what else is true. Ask yourself exactly what is not working. Make your list and ask again, what is true about that?Often when you seek the “truth under the truth” of your situation, you discover it isn’t what you thought. Be honest in your answers and ready for surprises in you discovery.

Do what you need to do to respond to real issues. Quickly and decisively handle whatever is actually not working. Your choices are: to ignore it and let it fester, to hang out with it and worry, to fix it now, or to let it go. Choose your best strategy and move as quickly as possible to clear the “not workings” out of your life.

The simplest response to the negativity of “things aren’t working” is to look elsewhere. A coach-friend of mine recently caught me up short. After listening patiently to my long list of complaints about what wasn’t working, what never did work, and what could never possibly work, she said to me, “Thea, when you first wake up in the morning, put your focus on what IS working in your life. And then several times a day continue to ask, what’s working?” So, I started to do this every day.

Surprise! This technique works. It creates a confident feeling to look at all the things that are working in your life—there are so many! When you gain confidence that so much is working and working very well, you feel empowered. Maybe you’ll start to have lots more ideas of how things could work even better.

If you want to get different, desired results, look at what is working in your life. Then be ready to get more of that!

© All Rights Reserved Thea Sheldon 2009

Time is precious at our age. Take a step today to gain unstoppable momentum on what really matters...for the rest of your life! Explore how life coaching with Thea Sheldon, The Prime of Life Coach can get you moving. Details are at www.TheaSheldon.com

LET YOUR SOULSHINE

When you can't find the light,
That guides you through a cloudy day,
When the stars ain't shinin' bright,
You feel like you've lost you're way,
When the candle lights of home,
Burn so very far away,
Now you got to let your soul shine,
Just like my daddy used to say.

[Chorus]
He used to say soulshine,
It's better than sunshine,
It's better than moonshine,
Damn sure better than rain.
Yeah now people don't mind,
We all get this way sometime,
Got to let your soul shine, shine till the break of day.

I grew up thinkin' that I had it made,
Gonna make it on my own.
Life can take the strongest man,
Make him feel so alone.
Now sometimes I feel a cold wind,
Blowin' through my achin' bones,
I think back to what my daddy said,
He said "Boy, in this darkness, before the dawn:"

[Chorus]
Let your soul shine,
It's better than sunshine,
It's better than moonshine,
Damn sure better than rain.
Yeah now people don't mind,
We feel this way sometimes,
Gotta let your soul shine, shine till the break of day.

Sometimes a man can feel this emptiness,
Like a woman has robbed him of his very soul.
A woman too, God knows, she can feel like this.
And when your world seems cold, you got to let your spirit take control.

[Chorus]
Let your soul shine,
It's better than sunshine,
It's better than moonshine,
Damn sure better than rain.
Lord now people don't mind,
We all get this way sometimes,
Gotta let your soul shine, shine till the break of day.

Oh, it's better than sunshine,
It's better than moonshine,
Damn sure better than rain.
Yeah now people don't mind,
We all get this way sometimes,
Gotta let your soul shine, shine till the break of day.

- By Warren Haynes of Gov't Mule/Allman Bros