Thursday, December 17, 2009

What Is Working in Your Life? Go There!

by Thea Sheldon, The Prime of Life Coach is owner of Prime of Life Coaching, LLC and founder of the True Voice coaching approach, where midlife women gain unstoppable momentum on what really matters...for the rest of their lives. To receive Thea’s complimentary online newsletter, Flourish after 50, please visit or contact her at

What Is Working in Your Life? Go There!

Too much time and energy is spent on the negative. This isn’t really news. We’re surrounded by stories of what doesn’t work every day. I talk with clients frequently who have internalized the mindset that things aren’t going right; that there’s something wrong or missing. They agonize over what’s not working.

It may be true there are things in your life that aren’t working out for you. Or there are aspects that you’d like to change, tweak, or improve. This is natural to human development. We make mistakes, go down unfulfilling paths, feel dissatisfaction or sometimes get ourselves in a real pickle. When these things happen, it can feel like nothing is working right.

Now look at it this way— what you focus on expands. This universal law comes in handy when you’re attempting to turn things around in your life. The tricky part of this law is that it really works.

When you shift your gaze toward what’s working, you get more of that. It’s subtle. And the miracle is that it’s entirely within your power to shift your gaze.

The next time the negative feeling of “things are just not working” overwhelms you, here are a few tips to help you respond differently than you may be accustomed to.

Stop and breathe in the reality of your situation. Allow yourself to completely receive what is happening into your being. If something isn’t working, take it in and consider it. Then ask, what else is true?

Assess what else is true. Ask yourself exactly what is not working. Make your list and ask again, what is true about that?Often when you seek the “truth under the truth” of your situation, you discover it isn’t what you thought. Be honest in your answers and ready for surprises in you discovery.

Do what you need to do to respond to real issues. Quickly and decisively handle whatever is actually not working. Your choices are: to ignore it and let it fester, to hang out with it and worry, to fix it now, or to let it go. Choose your best strategy and move as quickly as possible to clear the “not workings” out of your life.

The simplest response to the negativity of “things aren’t working” is to look elsewhere. A coach-friend of mine recently caught me up short. After listening patiently to my long list of complaints about what wasn’t working, what never did work, and what could never possibly work, she said to me, “Thea, when you first wake up in the morning, put your focus on what IS working in your life. And then several times a day continue to ask, what’s working?” So, I started to do this every day.

Surprise! This technique works. It creates a confident feeling to look at all the things that are working in your life—there are so many! When you gain confidence that so much is working and working very well, you feel empowered. Maybe you’ll start to have lots more ideas of how things could work even better.

If you want to get different, desired results, look at what is working in your life. Then be ready to get more of that!

© All Rights Reserved Thea Sheldon 2009

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